Fulfilling your passion takes a strong sense of Self-faith
I haven’t been around in a little while. I would like to say that I have been caught up in an awesome summer with my kids, but that would be a lie. We have had more rain here than any summer I can remember so honestly, our summer has sucked most days. So where have I been? Why haven’t I been writing? Four words. Lack of Self-faith.
Keeping a blog running is hard work, but if writing and sharing is what you love, if shouldn’t be. The problem comes when you have a family that doesn’t understand what you are doing or why you are spending so much time sitting at the computer. You don’t get much support. Sure, my husband tries to support what I do. He just doesn’t get it. So it is very hard for me to sit and take time away from my family when they don’t understand why. I would love to write for hours everyday; just about anything, everything, or nothing at all. It just can’t happen. Life takes over and you find your mind is spent by the end of the day.
It would be easy for me to say, “leave Mommy alone, I am going to write,” and honestly, it probably wouldn’t be an issue. However, I can’t say that. I feel my obligations as a mother is to be present to their needs at all times. I should stop whatever I am doing to tend to them; to make sure they have food, clean clothes, a clean home, and a clean body. Then, I also have to leave time to spend with my husband whenever he is home. I give myself time to take a hot bath and relax, that is my “me time”. Spending time on my blog and fulfilling my passion is very hard to fit into a routine when my day is anything but routine. It is even harder when you are writing and you keep getting up to tend to those needs.
My meal plans are my pride and joy. I worked so hard on them and need to work on revising them to create an Ebook. I would love to share them with the world because I know it will save so many families time and money. It also takes time to go through them and make them flow into a book. This is where the self-faith really needs to kick in. Since my family doesn’t understand what I want to do, it is hard for them to push me to reach my goals. Well, mainly my husband. My kids don’t really care what I am doing unless it involves them directly.
Do I have enough faith in what I am doing to continue? Do I believe in myself to push past the lack of support and obstacles? Am I strong enough to put in the work it takes to fulfill my passion? This is what I am struggling with. Now I am getting ready to re-enter the workforce, so this will give me less time. I need a clear head and a strong heart. I have to believe that some aspects of my life may suffer a bit, the outcome will make it all worth it.
All I know right now is that I am 35 years old and have done nothing significant with my life. Yes, I did earn my degree in Accounting but haven’t used it. And when they say, “if you don’t use it, you lose it”, yeah, they were talking about accounting. I am proof of that! It is seriously time to turn my life around. Not only for me, but for my kids. I need to show them that I am more than just the maid or the cook. There is more to me than being a mother.
The fact that I needed to get a job has really lit a fire under my ass. (I will talk about the job tomorrow!) I started this blog 2 years ago and my writing should have taken off by now. However, my lack of faith, self-discipline, and too many other things has held me back. Just writing this post and sharing with you my struggles have ignited that fire even more. I know what I have to do. It is time to get back on that horse and ride into the sunset. I have a lot of work to do, so I better get-to-gettin’!
Thank you for all those that have stuck around….you are a blessing to me.